Maria Telnikoff: ‘All the Men Are Going to Hate Me’ Review by Victoria Russell
★★★★★
Maria Telnikoff bursts onto the Secret Comedy Club stage, radiating confidence and contagious energy as she dances to Charli XCX’s “Guess,” instantly commanding the room. A blend of charisma and physical comedy, her show, All The Men Are Going To Hate Me, is an episodic journey through her romantic misadventures. Each encounter is framed as a “chapter” in her imagined literary opus. This clever structure allows Maria to connect stories ranging from uproarious to the most uncomfortable, inviting the audience into a space of both laughter and self-reflection of why they all may have dated that person in their past.
Characters such as “The Photographer,” “The Feminist,” and—most exasperating of all—”The Poet” emerge and come to life through Maria’s humour. Her portrayal of “The Poet” parodies the all-too-familiar “situationship” and the ambiguities of modern dating. It’s a pitch-perfect depiction, capturing the exasperation, confusion, and unintentional hilarity that come with trying to define these nebulous relationships. Through Maria’s eyes, we learn about the absurdity and painful experiences, while the audience is caught up with her very relatable storytelling especially, if one has found themselves tangled in a similar situation.
Maria’s knack for physical comedy, especially through interpretive dance, adds another layer to these tales, bringing each past lover to life with exaggerated quirks. One of the show’s standout moments sees her sucking on a lollipop and twerking—a bold image that captures Maria’s playful embrace of performative femininity. At times, she teases the audience with exaggerated “funny sexy” dance moves, cleverly mocking the absurd rituals of attraction in a way that’s both seductive and self-aware.
Additionally, Maria’s fearlessness in pushing boundaries is perhaps the show’s defining quality. In one segment, she punctuates her narratives with a series of placards, amplifying her punchlines and inviting the audience to reflect on the absurdities of dating and relationships. Her experimental approach shines particularly during her reimagining of Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s “Shallow,” transformed into an awkward call-and-response with a past lover—a hilariously uncomfortable moment that underscores her daring, innovative comedy style.
For fans of a comedy style that embraces vulnerability and pushes convention, All The Men Are Going To Hate Me is an engaging exploration of modern romance and self-discovery. In a delightful twist, Maria confesses to a hopeless crush on her English teacher, a nostalgic, cheeky reminder that some infatuations stay forever tucked away. And let’s be honest: aren’t we all still harbouring a crush on one teacher or another? Maria’s work feels like a fresh voice in comedy, unafraid to blur the line between humour and introspection, finding laughter in life’s most awkward and relatable moments.
This review of All the Men Are Going to Hate Me, written and performed by Maria Telnikoff, was based on her Nov. 6, 2024 performance at Secret Comedy Club during the Barcelona Fringe Festival.
